All posts tagged positive thinking

ENERGY – Part 5 – The energy of your words & The importance of a Gratitude Practice

On March 14, 2014 In Energy, Mind

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(A beautiful thank you card I received in January from a client.)

Hey friends!

Let’s talk about the energy of our words, ok? I want you to get connected with what comes out of your mouth in order to get connected to a brighter and more enjoyable experience.

You know and love this series (if you are new here then check out onetwothree and four!) and I’ve talked in the previous parts about how to protect, clear and ground you energy, as well as last time when I discussed our connection (or over connection) to the internet and how it might effect us. In part 3 I mentioned the power of positive thinking and why I like to use mantras so let us extend from there!

❤ How does energy align with our thoughts.

You may have heard about the Law of Attraction? Like attracts like etc? I want to give you a spin on this idea because I find that somewhere along the lines people have become a little afraid of their thoughts being magnetic. I hear so often people worrying that if they have a bad thought then something bad is going to happen to them. So let me help you think about this in a different way.

Energy is something that you tune into.

It is like adjusting your eyesight to see in a brighter way. When you are in a negative mindset it’s not that you are attracting more bad things into your life, it’s that you have tuned into a lower energy and therefore can just see the negative around you more openly and easily. It’s not that good things aren’t there, you just are on the wrong channel!

So of course when we are tuning ourselves in to a lower vibe then what falls out of our mouths or what we write down or what we tell ourselves can very easy be from a less than positive place.

❤ Energy and the words we speak

Use this as a checkpoint to think about what comes out of your mouth.

How do you speak to other people? How do you refer to people when they aren’t present? How  do you speak about yourself?

I’m going to run through a few types of conversation to address the energy of how we talk.

  • Don’t use someones energy as an excuse to speak badly of them – I bring this up as a point in my Energy Workshop. So we know that the space around us holds all of our thoughts and feelings right? Then this means everyone else has this space too. Avoid using phrases like ‘I don’t like *** because they have bad vibes.’ Perhaps that person is going through something difficult, perhaps they are in a place of fear or despair? If you are having a hard time then the energy you give off may not be of the brightest and clearest, and you would, I’m sure like compassion in that situation, right?  Be loving, allow everyone some room to breathe. Allow everyone to be having their own experience. Use your sense of energy to be the person that says ‘Are you ok’. Be the one who doesn’t judge others on their energy.
  • Gossip –  Ok we have all been there. In fact I feel we are only just emerging from a place where talking shit about other people was considered cool. Right? I’m sure you all have friends who seem to thrive on speaking negatively about other people, or maybe you recognise that in yourself. Don’t worry if so. However think about the energy that brings with it. Whenever we speak unkindly about someone else it only comes back to one thing, and that is that we are projecting our own insecurities and fears. This is a very low energy, but in fact the bigger thing is that gossiping requires us to use little to no part of our intelligent brain. Sitting around picking others apart? – You are smarter than that, you are so much smarter than that! Now, when we really stop and think about this it’s not uncommon to suddenly have a freak out and realise that you might have a tonne of friends that you just sit and gossip with. Do you ever leave those conversations feeling in awesome spirits? Unlikely right. Use your intelligence and get smart with your conversation. Spend time with those who uplift and inspire you. I have had people ask me before how they can remove themselves from negative conversations. It’s not always easy, but I believe you have to be unapologetic about being kind. I have no interest in diving into a conversation that involves being cruel about others, and I’m not afraid to say it. Be the person that brings the light back into the conversation.

Spend more time talking about the things that you love rather than the things you hate. See how your experience brightens.tweet

  • A lack mentality –  Do you find that you use the words ‘I can’t’ a lot? This is what is known as a lack mentality. The thing that is negative about this is that it’s a disconnected form of speech, it suggests that you don’t have a say in what is happening in your life. You are the co creator of your experience so think about switching up your words to regain some personal power and up your energy a little. An ‘I can’t’ can very easily become an ‘I am choosing not to.’ Think about how many times you downplay what you have when you speak. It’s a classic with money of course, always saying that we ‘can’t afford’ or ‘are broke’. If you are right on this page then check out Kate Northrups book – ‘Money: A Love story‘. The main problem with a lack mentality is that we start to take it on as the truth and it really can change your viewpoint on yourself and the world to a negative one. So start choosing to describe your experience in a way that has room for expansion. Don’t close yourself in with negative words, it creates tunnel vision and is harder for you to tune into that positive sight.
  • How do you speak about yourself? – Over here in England we are known for being self deprecating, in fact famous for it. It seems that it is built in to us to downplay our talents and positive experiences. I’m going to get real here. It is your job to shout about when you feel good or when you are proud of something. Why? Because with it you haul in a gigantic dose of positive energy, and others need that. You are not here to hide yourself away, you are not here to be in the shadows. You are here to share and teach and love. If you are reading this and find that you feel jealous when others talk about their successes, then know that it is only because in them you see a reflection of your own possible joy. When you are jealous of another, It’s not their story that you want, it’s your own. Be careful not to devalue someone else’s joy. Instead, dive in and celebrate with them because fyi it’s a sneaky short cut to tuning in to more positive opportunities for yourself. When you get to the end of an uplifting sentence about yourself and feel yourself saying ‘But’ – shut it down, instead marinate in the positive that you just shared. Enjoy the brightness, aim to get comfortable with the positive.

Speaking positively is a practice and at first it may not seem so comfortable, in fact it may seem strange and alien. Recognise that that will shift, there is a lot of power in being just willing to try a new way of addressing your world.

❤ How to shift the energy of your words to a better place – A Gratitude Practice.

The quickest way to align your energy to a higher and more positive vibe is to be grateful. I once read that if we only ever said one thing or made one prayer it should be – ‘Thank You’ and I agree with that.

I believe in bookending your days with positive practices. In the morning and in the evening. A gratitude practice is perfect for the evening. It is so often that we lay down in bed and start mulling over the days gone by, start getting anxious about tomorrow or doing everything but relax. So if you don’t already, I’d like you to begin an evening gratitude practice. I’m sure you are familiar with the idea and hopefully already putting it into play. But if not, then here we go -

The idea is that you write a gratitude list, ideally every day, at bedtime is a nice time because it also encourages good thoughts before sleep but you could write in it at any time. Have a small notebook that is just for this (or even use an online diary or app – some are listed below!) so it’s always full of good thoughts and you can re visit it if you need it. It’s one of the first things I get clients to do and what I find is that they return to it often to flick through the pages and boost their spirit.

Write down a list, it doesn’t matter how big or small of things you are thankful for each day.

It might just be things like “I said hello to a stranger and made them smile” or “I had a great conversation with ***” or “I saw an amazing puppy” etc, basically anything positive even if it’s what you deem to be the tiniest thing. Whatever challenge you are going through or however negative you feel, I guarantee there is one thing that you can feel grateful for. Sometimes it really might just be your bed, but it will be there.

What you are doing is forcing yourself to shift to a higher energy and it’s very effective. We often choose, and it is so easy to be in this habit, to focus on the things that we haven’t liked in our day or week and forget all the nice things that happen. How often have you written off a whole week because you had an annoying trip on public transport? Or chosen to talk about the traffic jam you were on or that person that bumped into you in the street. But you also saw the beautiful sunset or the cute dog, didn’t you? By writing down these moments we haul them to the surface and choose to tune in to that brighter place. It also very simply reminds us to be thankful for little wonders and in that space we are more open to seeing synchronicities and miraculous moments.

❤ The Gratitude practice for self love

I spoke about this in a previous post, but add some self love to that gratitude list. Every so often, and especially when you waver on how you feel about your body or mind, be thankful for it. Again, it’s a tricky one. Write a list of things you are grateful for about yourself. Maybe it’s your cute freckles, your smart mind or your awesome hair. Find things and love them. I add ‘I am grateful for my body’ to my list every day, it comes from me often wanting to disconnect from my body through feelings of illness or discomfort. The more I am grateful for it the more it works with me and the better I feel.

❤ The Gratitude practice for guiding you through challenges.

This can be a hard one but It helps me every moment that I feel stuck. Your life is a journey, an experience, an adventure and every moment has purpose to take you to the next step in your story. You know that everything makes sense in retrospect right? Ok, got it. This means that the challenge you are in right now has a purpose, it’s a stepping stone and it will be taking you somewhere. You just have to trust that it is. A gratitude for your challenges can help this. This also really helps you connect to your journey. So if you are in a hard place then write down that you are grateful for the tough moment, because you know it has meaning in the bigger picture.

I am grateful for my challenges.

I recognise that my challenges are in place to lead me to higher ground.tweet

This doesn’t need to be something that you worry about getting done, your positive and spiritual practice should never be something that is part of a guilt trip. This should be fun.

❤ You are already halfway there

Even from just reading this post you have connected to being more aware of your thoughts. Check in with my ‘Feeling feelings‘ post if you want to dive a little deeper into connecting your mind and body and getting back to the present moment. Once we acknowledge what we are saying then we have the opportunity to change it.

The best thing? there are no possible bad side effects here. Working with energy can only get you more connected to your journey and your purpose. Considering the energy of your words and thoughts will expand you and open you up to being ready to clear out old habits and make way for a higher vibe. Sounds good right?

Below are some links to some sites and ideas that might help you out from this point onwards.

❤ Some sites, apps and ideas centred around aligning your thoughts and being grateful.

  • 90 Days of no shit talking! – My friend Gabby uses an app called Streak that tracks your progress with whatever you are working on or giving up (I’m currently using it as a dedication to my morning stretching practice). The other day she checked in and realised that she had found herself shit talking and didn’t like how it made her feel and has started a ‘No Shit Talk’ 90 day practice. I love this, purely because just be setting this idea she knows that she will instantly become more aware of the words that come out of her mouth. This is all we need to be able to change our talking habits, to recognise when we don’t connect in a positive way to what we are saying.
  • Gala Darling – Things I Love Thursday – My friend Gala has been running this post since she started her blog many many moons ago. It’s a wonderful and extraordinarily simple way to get in that gratitude! I love how Gala writes everything that has made her smile or touched her heart, whether it’s a movie, a spoon of peanut butter or a walk with her husband. Many bloggers make similar style posts and I can bet it’s one part of their week that brings them back down to earth.
  • The Gratitude Journals – A site created by a lovely girl called Emily who contacted me recently. This site is in a tumblr format enabling you to submit your own gratitude entry as well as share and enjoy others. It’s amazing what a lift of high vibe energy you can get just from reading what others are grateful for, don’t you agree?
  • Happy Rambles – I’ve been using this since last summer. It’s an online diary with a twist. You set it up to email you at a time of your choosing (I have every day at 8pm) and you receive an email entitled “What are you grateful for?”. All you do is reply to the email, including photos if you wish and hit send. Your lists are saved like journal entries on the site and you can go back and read through.
  • Gratitude Journal iPhone app – Again if you prefer your journal to be online this is a great phone app where you can write that list and upload those photos!
  • I wrote you this prayer to say at the start of each day to remind you to tune into that higher energy and speak from a place that will enlighten and uplift your mind, body and spirit.Energy-wordsprayer

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A note on failure.

On November 13, 2013 In How to, Mind

Failure Fail Failing

In our own personal dictionaries, I can’t think of a positive use of the word failure.

A word which mostly only exists for people to believe that they are less, or for people to label someone else as less. I don’t believe this word pushes us to be better, that we need it to get a backbone, that we need it to recognise strength.

This word has only a negative outcome. There are no roads forward in our thinking marked ‘Failure’. But we let this one word take us over, and inhibit us from trying, from being, from believing in ourselves. Everyday many of us are choosing to not participate in our own lives because of this one word.

Scrap it.

I removed this word from my own personal dictionary a long time ago. Why? because I don’t want to ever think that I am not good enough. I don’t even for a moment want to suggest to myself that I don’t have a chance.

Because I know as sure as I’ve known anything, that fear of failure is one of the biggest blocks that holds us from moving forward in life.

How to perceive ‘failure’

I choose to believe that when something is taken from me or I ‘don’t get what I want’ then it’s because there is something better ahead. I took this idea and ran with it, made it a belief and I’ve been proven time and time again for it to be right. Sometimes you don’t see until miles ahead, but it makes sense. One thing leads to another, time flows from one space to the next. Just because one thing doesn’t happen it doesn’t mean that another thing won’t instead. I have a faith in this system, and it comes from a positive place, and I think, a place of practical magic.

Yes the word is going to exist, it is in place for exams, for tests, in games, ‘EPIC FAIL’ etc.  But you can decide if you want to let it be something that holds you back, something that makes you feel like you are less. You still get to keep going, and you are still the same you that set out to try in the first place.

Try it

I believe a fear of failure is the same as a fear of success, it is a fear of change, of the unknown, of something being different to what it is you know. The thing is that, if you don’t like where you are right now then that can be your guiding force, a need for change can propel you to a different place, a better place.

We have to remember the power of our choices here, because If we believe in failure, it will become our sight, we will only be able to see ourselves as being weak or strong, good or bad, right or wrong, a success or a failure. If we let this fear of failure guide us then we miss out on simple enjoyment. If we believe in failure we miss out the present, where we are completely perfect in the moment.

Don’t hold on to it on purpose

Perhaps you have always thought in this way, that failure has always seemed to be an option for you? It might be that people have told you that you weren’t good enough, or that situations have occurred time and time again to create that feeling.

Sometimes it feels easier to just believe in the worst because then you’re ahead of the game right? If you think things are going to be terrible and they are just moderately crap then you predicted it? and you are only just a little bit of a failure. It’s a safer place.

No.

If there is no such thing as failure then there is just a series of events, your own time line, your own swirling layered space. When you remove the idea that you might not be good enough then you get to participate in life, and see what is really there, which isn’t failure and it isn’t fear. It’s a space for opportunity, growth and gratitude.

You are not a failure

What does not being good enough even translate to? Not being good enough to achieve something? not being good enough to find love? not being good enough to be successful? not being good enough to impress someone or to fit in? This is only in our minds eye.

This idea will also always be a mirror. If you perceive someone else to be less then it will be reflecting your own fears of lack within yourself. If someone is telling you to your face that you aren’t good enough then it isn’t about you, but it is about them and their journey. However horrible that moment is, you can still choose to not believe it, you can still choose to believe that you are good enough. You are not a failure. Even if your whole life has been shaped by the power of the word failure, it can still change. You can still move forwards.

You also cannot fail in a way of thinking, you haven’t failed in trying. You are way ahead of the moment that you decided to do something differently. A moment of stillness isn’t going backwards again, efforts and willingness do not get erased.

Small shifts

I suggest these ideas and these lessons of thinking because I practice them myself every day. Change in thought processes doesn’t happen immediately but it occurs through small shifts. The more you practice a new way of thinking the more familiar it becomes. It might be at first that you don’t even believe what you are saying, but after time, it can become the thought that is real, suddenly, there is change.

Be patient with yourself, and kind. Try it, because what if it helps?

There is no such thing as failure, but there is such a thing as an opportunity for change.

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