Failure Fail Failing
In our own personal dictionaries, I can’t think of a positive use of the word failure.
A word which mostly only exists for people to believe that they are less, or for people to label someone else as less. I don’t believe this word pushes us to be better, that we need it to get a backbone, that we need it to recognise strength.
This word has only a negative outcome. There are no roads forward in our thinking marked ‘Failure’. But we let this one word take us over, and inhibit us from trying, from being, from believing in ourselves. Everyday many of us are choosing to not participate in our own lives because of this one word.
I removed this word from my own personal dictionary a long time ago. Why? because I don’t want to ever think that I am not good enough. I don’t even for a moment want to suggest to myself that I don’t have a chance.
Because I know as sure as I’ve known anything, that fear of failure is one of the biggest blocks that holds us from moving forward in life.
How to perceive ‘failure’
I choose to believe that when something is taken from me or I ‘don’t get what I want’ then it’s because there is something better ahead. I took this idea and ran with it, made it a belief and I’ve been proven time and time again for it to be right. Sometimes you don’t see until miles ahead, but it makes sense. One thing leads to another, time flows from one space to the next. Just because one thing doesn’t happen it doesn’t mean that another thing won’t instead. I have a faith in this system, and it comes from a positive place, and I think, a place of practical magic.
Yes the word is going to exist, it is in place for exams, for tests, in games, ‘EPIC FAIL’ etc. But you can decide if you want to let it be something that holds you back, something that makes you feel like you are less. You still get to keep going, and you are still the same you that set out to try in the first place.
I believe a fear of failure is the same as a fear of success, it is a fear of change, of the unknown, of something being different to what it is you know. The thing is that, if you don’t like where you are right now then that can be your guiding force, a need for change can propel you to a different place, a better place.
We have to remember the power of our choices here, because If we believe in failure, it will become our sight, we will only be able to see ourselves as being weak or strong, good or bad, right or wrong, a success or a failure. If we let this fear of failure guide us then we miss out on simple enjoyment. If we believe in failure we miss out the present, where we are completely perfect in the moment.
Don’t hold on to it on purpose
Perhaps you have always thought in this way, that failure has always seemed to be an option for you? It might be that people have told you that you weren’t good enough, or that situations have occurred time and time again to create that feeling.
Sometimes it feels easier to just believe in the worst because then you’re ahead of the game right? If you think things are going to be terrible and they are just moderately crap then you predicted it? and you are only just a little bit of a failure. It’s a safer place.
If there is no such thing as failure then there is just a series of events, your own time line, your own swirling layered space. When you remove the idea that you might not be good enough then you get to participate in life, and see what is really there, which isn’t failure and it isn’t fear. It’s a space for opportunity, growth and gratitude.
You are not a failure
What does not being good enough even translate to? Not being good enough to achieve something? not being good enough to find love? not being good enough to be successful? not being good enough to impress someone or to fit in? This is only in our minds eye.
This idea will also always be a mirror. If you perceive someone else to be less then it will be reflecting your own fears of lack within yourself. If someone is telling you to your face that you aren’t good enough then it isn’t about you, but it is about them and their journey. However horrible that moment is, you can still choose to not believe it, you can still choose to believe that you are good enough. You are not a failure. Even if your whole life has been shaped by the power of the word failure, it can still change. You can still move forwards.
You also cannot fail in a way of thinking, you haven’t failed in trying. You are way ahead of the moment that you decided to do something differently. A moment of stillness isn’t going backwards again, efforts and willingness do not get erased.
I suggest these ideas and these lessons of thinking because I practice them myself every day. Change in thought processes doesn’t happen immediately but it occurs through small shifts. The more you practice a new way of thinking the more familiar it becomes. It might be at first that you don’t even believe what you are saying, but after time, it can become the thought that is real, suddenly, there is change.
Be patient with yourself, and kind. Try it, because what if it helps?
There is no such thing as failure, but there is such a thing as an opportunity for change.