Remember the other week when I mentioned that my friend Aurora had called me fearless?
Yesterday I arrived home around midnight and checked my mail and found that I’d received a letter from the lady herself. Inside was a copy of her new Zine – Don’t Hide Behind Your Skirt. I climbed into bed, opened it up and read from cover to cover, and I cried.
Aurora has opened up and shared her story, bare and beyond, brave and fearless about her experiences with growing up in an abusive household, coping with grief and along with that, a consistent underlining wish – to be part of a girl gang.
I’ve written about my own experience of trauma here, and our stories are polar opposite, and honestly I felt completely humbled and in awe of Aurora when I read her words – but the common thread is a desire, a push to share in order to help. It takes time. I often refer to the middle part of my twenties as the years where I just wanted to ‘be normal’ – I wasn’t ready to talk about the ins and outs of my experiences, apart from with my therapist or a few others. It’s a type of opening up, in a new way, and it’s funny because the people that need you to help them are right there waiting, you just don’t know it, and fear arrives, wondering if it’s ok to tell your story.
If I had to only give out one message it would be that we are never alone. Every time I see a client I am always amazed at how we all share the same fears, packaged up in unique ways, and yet we feel totally alone. I do, but less so as I learn more about myself and continue to validate my experiences. This is why I believe I have a duty to share my challenges and my tale, because it helps, even if it is just that one person.
You do not have to have be ‘cured’ or have found the secret to perfect harmony in order for your experience to be valid.
You are not broken and there is no such cloud 9 destination that exists as a constant. Balance, happiness and guidance are found in the present moment. Your life is a journey and an experience, all your feelings are real and valid. Our job is merely to realise this and keep participating in our story book, keep searching for the help we need and then perhaps share, if, as and when we are ready.
So, go and get your own copy - Her story is traumatic and powerful and her writing is awesome, cool and funny. She’s a damn smart lady and I think you’ll like her. There are a number of limited edition Zines wrapped in hand dyed paper with a bookmark and gold thread, plus a regular run, either way it’s the words that will choose you. You can also go and say hi to Aurora here.
If you are suffering from abuse or feel in despair of any sort, please seek help. Whether it’s through a helpline, therapist or coach, a blog, instagram quote or a zine – there is someone for you. Help comes in surprising forms, that girl gang, that one email, that friend who assures you that you aren’t crazy. You are not alone. I promise.