Every time I check my stats I see that many of you are arriving here from typing ‘How to surrender’ into Google. So first up, I love you!
I believe that the moment we step up and ask for help, want to view things differently or even just be willing to try something new we have done half the work already.
Now let’s get to it!
I believe the Universe looks out for us. What is this ‘Universe’? For me it is one of the terms I use for an energy that that is part of me, that surrounds me and that is bigger than me. It’s my trust in a source of something to have faith in, and often that is just you having a trust in your inner self, your energy and personal power.
I believe we all have a path on which we are meant to follow, sometimes we go on and off it but there is purpose for everyone and there is guidance for everyone. This is of course is dependent on if we allow this to happen, if we accept a sense of flow into our lives and be open to being guided.
To allow the Universe to guide the steering wheel whilst we drive the car we have to trust this to be true which can be the challenge for a lot of us. I believe fully in all of the above and totally trust the Universe has my back but we all can still struggle often to completely relinquish control.
The Ground Rules
Uncertainty is certain but right now in this tiny second there is no fear and everything is as it should be.
To accept flow we need to have an understanding of the present moment. If you’d like some tools to get grounded and present, check out this post!
What has happened in the past no longer exists. The future, whilst abundant with plans is completely fluid. The only thing we can be sure of is the present moment.
If we are obsessive and controlling we grip onto our life so hard that we stop the natural flow, life is much harder and opportunities less apparent.
This is your challenge word, and our task is – to ‘let go’, we hear it and see it everywhere. We tell ourselves or people tell us a number of things such as – ‘Let go of things’, ‘Let go of control’, ‘Stop obsessing’, ‘Don’t think about that’ and so on.
It sounds so easy.. hey sure let’s just let go, woo, great! Wait WHAT!? but doesn’t the idea of ‘letting go of control’ associate with the opposite which would be being ‘out of control’? this sounds so negative to me, the idea of being out of control, like we have no power over our lives at all, or that we are making ‘crazy’ choices, woah ‘she’s so out of control!’
It’s not like that.
When I think of letting go, it is making a pact with my higher self that I will be open to being guided and take opportunities that are given to me, say yes more often, be forgiving and forgive myself, it’s working WITH the Universe to agree to follow my path and enjoy the life I deserve.
This is the word that you need, this is the word to replace control. This is the word that is infinitely better than ‘let go’.
I can tell you that ‘I Surrender’ is the most powerful mantra and thought process I have ever used. It is part of my daily practice. I have found an instant shift in many of my thought processes. I also teach this process to all my coaching clients and everyone gives it a resounding YES.
Why controlling thoughts stop us from moving forward
If we are in our own ‘flow’ and are listening to our intuition, life moves freely, we have less obstacles and our minds are clearer.
When we spend our time trying to control everything in our life it creates a blockage, we become static and removed from our journey and we blindfold our intuition .
Just writing that down rings so true to me, I can think of so many times in the past where I have put so much energy into trying to control aspects of my life and the outcomes have never been what I ‘wanted’ or the experience even been at all positive.
Some examples of how we use controlling thoughts negatively in our lives -
- In relationships - How many times have you been having a ‘conversation’ in your head (hello ego mind!) with your friend / partner / current crush / person you haven’t even met yet and you are constructing the situation, what you might say, what they might say back, what might be the outcome and so forth. This is a great example of trying to control relationships and can take up SO much time and energy. When and if this conversation actually happens it’s never as we ‘planned’ anyway, the time we have put into these thoughts was completely pointless
- Within the ‘what if’ situations - I have written about the ‘what if’ concept before in my post about procrastination. It can also become a controlling thought pattern, we think about a situation, perhaps at work and we start to get anxieties about it and a million ‘what if’s’ suddenly appear and one by one we begin to try and form a type of control for the situation.
- With our health - It’s a huge subject but the development of eating disorders can be largely down to control, because food is something we can control, it can’t talk back to us, we can always decide what we eat or don’t eat. Surrendering to my health and eating habits has been the most positive thing I have done in years and completely rid me of an eating disorder. I decided that instead of trying to control my weight I was going to instead CHOOSE my health. I used food as a thing to control when I felt like I was ‘out of control’ in other areas of my life and it only had negative consequences.
- In Love - Spending time obsessing over people who aren’t currently in our lives, obsessing over past lovers, putting restrictions on our idea of love, all of these restrict our ability and flow to let love into our lives. We become blinded by our controlling thoughts and then are unable to see wonderful people and opportunities around us.
There are so many more examples, we are open to trying to inflict negative control patterns in ALL aspects of our lives. I’m sure you can think of ways in which you do it? We even use controlling thoughts to be negative about ourselves which restricts our confidence in achieving our dreams.
So, why ‘Surrender’?
When I say ‘I surrender’ my intent is that I am surrendering my anxieties, ego thoughts, obsessions, problems to the Universe, I am surrendering TO the thought and telling it that I am just not interested. I am trusting that there is a flow to my life and that by surrendering my control over things I am making way for positive change and opportunities. I am stepping back onto my path and not trying to force things into my life.
From now on whenever you are in a wave of anxiety or stressful thinking, when you are planning a conversation three weeks in advance or beating yourself up about yesterday then just say it.
Even if for just one moment this pulls you back into the present and gives you the choice to choose to put your energy onto something more productive. As you practice it becomes more familiar and you need to use it less often because you are always surrendering!
(NOTE on manifesting and visualisation – I have to mention visualising and manifesting here (a practice I fully believe in) The art of manifesting is that we decide what we want and we acknowledge it and then we release it (surrender!) into the Universe and into our energy, ALLOWING it to be. Manifesting is not deciding what we want, acknowledging it and then OBSESSING over it and trying to coerce it into being – See the difference?)
The practice of ‘Surrendering’
I am currently using the word in two ways to help me and these are the ideas that I would love you to try.
- As a simple mantra – I feel that a quick way to stop a negative or obsessive control pattern is to just simple say (aloud or in your thoughts) ‘I surrender’. By saying the words it is creating a simple shift in your thought pattern and allowing you to let go of the obsession and allow the situation to heal in it’s natural flow. I have been using this for the past week and it has completely changed my way of thinking.
- As part of an affirmation about a situation - Staring the affirmation with ‘I surrender’ apply it to some of your challenges. Create an affirmation that rings true to you, and is purely positive. State the affirmation as if it is already true.
Some affirmations using Surrender
Extend this mantra by forming your own positive sentences. Shift by shift your thoughts calm down and oh there we go.. flow.
“I surrender this situation to flow as it should”
“Everything is perfect in this moment, I surrender.”
“I surrender my obsessive thoughts about X”
“I surrender my anxieties about relationships and allow love to come into my life”
“I surrender my fears and allow success into my endeavors”
“I surrender my day to the Universe”
“I surrender all negative thoughts about myself”
“I surrender to the flow of the Universe”
“I surrender to my fears and allow love to guide me”
“I surrender my resistance to move forwards”
“I surrender with confidence to my life’s path”
“To allow, I surrender”
“I surrender to sleep and am totally relaxed”
“I surrender my need for approval and I accept myself”
“I surrender to my creative flow”
The reason a surrender practice is so powerful is that you aren’t suddenly spinning out of control and giving up the wheel, instead you are loosening your grip and consequently allowing flow back into your life. This practice of course comes with a little sprinkling of faith but work on this with me.
Please find me on social media via the links below and let me know how your practice goes!